WATCHING MOMMA DIE

The Long Wave Goodbye...
9.21.2014

(Note: This is a diary from an emotionally-tragic time in my life. As such, I feel a great deal of creative license and I reveal a lot about myself. My hope is that nobody feels offended, disparaged or taken aback by my frank talk. To reveal myself in this way, is an exercise of love to my community.)

On my first visits, I just sat there and held her hand.
Sometimes, crying.I think she liked me not talking
and just being there.

I write this in Homage, to my mother, The Honorable Judge Deborah Shelton Griffin, whose shoes I could never fill. 

Spoiler alert: she died after a long illness.

I remember the day I began feeling that something was really wrong with my mother. I have a terrible memory, but I believe it was in September of 2009. 

We were in France, as part of a fantastic Mediterranean cruise she had set up for her immediate family to enjoy; her, myself and my little brother, Jonathan. I forget which stop it was on the cruise. Perhaps Marseilles. Mom and I decided to escape my brother on an excursion to see the city. 

YOUR BODY IS A MACHINE. REMEMBER THAT...

You should watch this lecture. But if you don't, you have my notes. You're welcome America.
3.29.2014

This is my favorite lecturer, Ya'll. Lend him your ear. Notes from Simon Sinek. The expert on Leadership:


Your body is a machine. There are four biochemicals responsible for your happiness:

EDSO

The first two are selfish Chemicals. In other words, you don't need others to indulge in them.

ENDORPHINS: Designed to mask physical pain. They are the reason you run, and feel no pain until long after you stop running. It's the endorphin rush. When you laugh hard, your organs convulse. The reason why that doesn't hurt is cause of Endorphins. But then they run out. That's what happens when you laugh so hard, it hurts. Your Endorphins have run out.

DOPAMINE: Responsible for the feeling you get when you've accomplished something you've set out to accomplish. The purpose of this chemical is to get you to get things done. It goes into action when you cross something off your "to do" list. We get a shot of it even after we accomplish eating...
Dopamine is HIGHLY ADDICTIVE. Other triggers for Dopamine = Alcohol, Nicotine, Gambling and even your cellphone. The addictive quality of Dopamine is the real reason that many people are easily distracted, or have problems paying attention; wrongly attributed to Attention Deficit Disorder. You can even get addicted to performance through dopamine. Dopamine is the reason people write down their goals. Ever forget something on your "to do" list, then do it, THEN write it down THEN cross it out? You wanted the Dopamine "fix."