People are your greatest resource.
10.12.2014
When I was born, the government name I was given is one that I never use: Carson Jamal Wright IV.
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| Carson C. Wright. This man was tough. You had to be tough to be one of the few Black Sergeants in the NYPD, during the Civil Rights Era. He took hell from both sides of the controversy.You can see the resolve in his eyes. At least I can. |
My dad's dad, was Carson Chester Wright. We are all Carsons, but the tradition is that the first born sons are always called by their middle name until their father dies. So I am Jamal. And my father, Carson Anthony Wright, is "Tony." I respect this tradition even though my son's name is Jhalil D'Vyne Wright. But I digress, as always.
My grandfather Chester, was one of the first Black police Sergeants in Queens, NY. In fact, the Wright family has a history with many members in law enforcement. It's strange to me considering how many problems I've had with authority figures. But grandpa Chester wasn't really much like me. He was a man of God and an Elder in St. Paul's Pentecostal Church, an organization he helped to create with his wife, Dorothy Wright, my dear grandmother. It was the church I grew up in. and even now, 50 years later, it thrives.
My dad's favorite, of my grandfather's 11 brothers, was Irving Wright. He was a cop too. But he also operated a small business in Harlem. Unfortunately, he met an untimely demise when He was shot in the back and killed by friendly fire from other cops who mistook him for a criminal who robbed his store. Irving was chasing the real culprits at the time of his murder, by cop.
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
Although that's plenty reason for a cop to be bitter towards the streets, my grandfather never was. In fact, he told me the following story all the time:
Many years ago, before he was promoted to Sergeant, my grandfather was walking the beat when he saw a guy in the distance, who appeared to be burglarizing a store. Grandpa held up his gun and ordered the culprit to freeze. The suspect turned around and brandished his own gun. At that time, grandaddy realized that the suspect was just a teenager.
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| My great-uncle Irving was killed two years after I was born. he died in the hospital where I was born: St. Lukes, in NYC. He was a lover of motorbikes. |
My grandfather hesitated.
The teenager shot my grandfather in the leg. He limped for the rest of his life. But immediately after the shooting, a prostitute who my grandfather had arrested several times, a big girl, threw him on her back and took him to the hospital.
A prostitute. Whom he had arrested a few times in the past.
My grandfather Chester is long gone from our realm now. But I often think of that prostitute. Why did she help him? My conclusion has been that my grandfather Chester must have treated her with respect and kindness, even through the process of booking her. He must have realized that everybody deserves to be treated with respect and kindness. Even those you judge harshly. Even those you think you are better than. Your illusion of superiority, regardless of what you think may be a logical foundation, reflects badly on your character, more than that of those you judge. The lesson I take from his story, is this:
The way you treat people, matters. They may not remember what you say. But everybody remembers how you made them feel. I firmly believe it matters more than how much you are
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| Me and my boy, Jhalil, years ago. He's taller than me now. |
You could even ask Bill Gates, the richest man in the world for perhaps, the 14th time (as of this writing). He has created so much wealth that he's trying his best to give it all away now to help change people's lives for the better. He's even convincing his billionaire friends to do the same. What a wonderful man. and not a stupid one., either.
It's not karma. It's real. Cause people in your life, will be your greatest resource if you treat them with individual kindness, respect and love. Essentially how everybody wants to be treated. Money cannot take care of you when you're sick, or love you when you need support. Sure, you can buy a nurse. but you can never make people really care about you or sacrifice for you, with money. I've heard it said more than once that money can't buy you love. Those are not just silly song lyrics. After 42 years of life, I must say I agree. It's why I advise people who are looking for a lawyer to choose someone like a family friend, or I tell them to get close friends's referral. It's better for you if the attorney cares personally about your situation, for reasons more solid than income.
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| One of my biggest regrets in life is not serving at least a little time in the U.S. military, like my grandfather did. |
Perhaps I'm naive to believe my dad when he teaches me that we all are responsible for each other. But how could I not? These beliefs have kept my family strong for generations before me.
Many other people believe differently, but I'm not them. Nor should I emulate those who come to different conclusions about life.
I will be encouraging my only son to invest in his relationships with the important people in his life. To treasure them. They will definitely disappoint him sometimes, for sure. But the times they don't disappoint him, will make all the other times worth the trouble.
Now that's optimism, even for me. But no more optimistic than believing a prostitute that you consistently harass, may save your life one day. One very bad day when she could have just turned around, and walked away.
Just goes to show you, that nobody can afford to be an asshole. I wouldn't lie to you.
